This is a link to a site with real student essays on a prose James Joyce passage. If you read the whole article, the essays are graded and reviewed. I think this will be tremendously helpful to you if you take the time to read it. If you are interested I can give you more examples of student essays. These essays were written in class in one sitting by a highschool Junior or Senior. These might help clear up some confusion about the "conclusion"- how you want to tie things together and talk about your thesis without being redundant, a very tricky task.
http://www.education.com/study-help/article/sample-student-essays/
http://www.education.com/study-help/article/sample-student-essays/
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