Similes as bad as Auburn

Poetic:
1.  The siren was as loud as the tornado that ripped apart the town.

Creative:
2.  His accuracy was as bad as Shaq shooting a free throw.

Random:
3.  His car was as jacked up as the cast of Jersey shore.

Most likely to be said while hanging off a cliff:
4.  The sunset was as colorful as a kindergartners finger painting.